I blame Bill Cunningham New York. It’s all Richard Press’s fault.

But let me back up.

Last month, I attended a screening of the aforementioned film, Bill Cunningham New York, at the Silverdocs Film Festival. Let me first say: Excellent movie. Excellent, excellent movie. I can’t say enough good things about it. The subject, Bill Cunningham, has a wonderful screen presence. I don’t know I’ve ever seen a better subject for a documentary film. I went into the film not caring a bit about fashion (save for Tim Gunn and Project Runway), and by the end, I appreciated what fashion does for the world, and in turn, what Mr. Cunningham does for fashion. So, go see the movie if you can. It’s screening at a film festival near you, and I’m sure it will get a distributor, if it hasn’t already.  

But that’s not the point of this post.

There’s a montage in the film that shows Mr. Cunningham at an event. I don’t remember which one (there are a lot in the film). It might be one in which he is honored. Anyway, the montage is of him at the event, snapping pictures every chance he can get, talking to people, snapping more pictures, rinse, repeat. At this point in the film, the audience knows that Bill has no ego, that he doesn’t really get how others view him, and doesn’t presume to think he’s any different or special than anyone else. (Which he is). Playing during the montage? Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida.”

Yeah.

Except that it works. It really, really works. It works so much I started to tear up.

And ever since then, I can’t get that song out of my head. When it comes on the radio, I turn it up. I’ve had it on repeat on YouTube all damn day.

What’s the problem?

Well obviously…I hate Coldplay. I mean…I HATE Coldplay. With a passion. With a vengeance. With the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.  I hate Coldplay…so much. Flames, flames on the side of my face.

Except I love this damn song. It’s so freaking catchy. It makes me want to dance. It gets my blood pumping.

But it’s fucking Coldplay.

In case you haven’t figured it out already, I hate Coldplay because they want to be U2. They think they are the next U2, only they’re not because there can be only one. And listen, I know this is not a new theory, but I figured out their plan years ago. I was an all-day festival senior year of high school and Coldplay came out and did a short set which included the now famous “Yellow.”  No one was really paying attention, because they hadn’t yet “made it”, but I watched and thought to myself, “They have the exact stage set up as U2. The lead singer is bouncing about like Bono. They want to be U2.”

And 12 years later…

That’s one of the main reasons I hate them, but not the only one. I actually came to terms with Coldplay in college. My friends dug their albums. I started listening. I kinda dug their albums, too. Might have even bought one or three.

Then one day,  years later, I’m driving to the beach, put on their third album, and thought to myself, “This is just like their first two albums. All the songs sound exactly the same. You know what, self? You’re done with Coldplay. Done.” The next time  pulled over, I threw their albums out. Seriously.

Ok, I will admit to still liking a few songs – “The Scientist” and “Warning Sign.” But only in the sense that they are on some mix CDs I made back in college, and sometimes still listen to.

But “Viva la Vida” is a whole different story. Yes, I know the album has been out for a couple of years. And yes, I was aware of this song. I don’t live in a cave. But it never really hit me until Bill Cunningham New York.

This is a really good fucking song. Not only that, it’s different from anything they’ve done on their previous albums. Does that mean their 4th album is different? Did they break out of their comfort zone? Might this actually be worth buying?

Ack! No! Even thinking such things makes my skin crawl. Do not support Chris Martin. DO NOT SUPPORT CHRIS MARTIN.

Except I might have to download this damn song off Itunes. It’s too damn catchy not to.

I hate myself.

Video of the Day: I’ve been listening to this song with the browser down. Before writing this post, I took a look at the actual video. My hatred increased tenfold. You look like a douchebag, Chris Martin. Stop dancing like that. My recommendation would be you press play and put your browser down. Just listen to the song. Don’t watch Chris try to be Bono. YOU’RE NOT BONO, CHRIS MARTIN. He’s the only one who can pull off those moves.