“I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but who knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks really being into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.”