I don’t have the technology (i.e. a laptop) for a live blog, but I did jot down some thoughts…ok, a LOT of thoughts, last night while watching the Oscars. Just pretend you’re reading this on Sunday night.

• OMG! NPH!
• Wow, Alex and Steve are actually funny. I can’t believe I’m laughing out loud.
• George Clooney + long hair = HOT.
• T- Bone Burnett looks pretty badass.
• Aw, Coraline should have won best animated film. It kicked ass.
• Tina Fey looks beautiful!
• Why are all the men wearing sunglasses?
• Why is Molly Ringwald at the Oscars? Oh. John Hughes tribute. This is going to be sad.
• Yep, totally made me cry. His films are so much more than they seem to be. But why no clips from Uncle Buck?
• Very cool to have successful feature directors talk about their short films. Better way to get the audience to care than nominating 10 for best picture.
• Nick Park! I love Wallace and Gromit!
• Why did that woman interrupt the director of the best short doc winner? Worst. Speech. Ever. (Update: You can find out why here. Stay classy, Elinor Burkett.)
• Why does Ben Stiller always make an ass of himself at award shows? Just say no, Ben.
• I really wanted to see A Serious Man, but I think it was in theaters for like, a week.
• Up in the Air is the best movie I’ve seen in a long time. I bet it wins adapted screenplay, but I’d like to see it win best picture.
• Ooh – it went to Precious. Maybe there’s hope for Up in the Air after all.
• Morgan Freeman looks underwhelmed to be there.
• I don’t understand the world’s obsession with Penelope Cruz. She just bugs.
• Sigourney Weaver has been eaten by her dress.
• I am SO NOT interested in seeing Precious. There, I said it.
• Is Edward Scissorhands a horror film?
• I don’t know enough about sound in film, but it seems like if you win for sound editing, you should also win for mixing. Looks like the academy agrees. The Hurt Locker – 3; Avatar – 1. (Update: At this point in the night, I started rooting for The Hurt Locker to take it.)
• Elizabeth Banks, I love your dress! Tim Gunn would approve.
• Damn, The Hurt Locker – 3; Avatar -2.
• Oh, In Memoriam, my fave. I hope they don’t fuck it up like last year.
• No, this way isn’t very good either. Too fast and too much info on the screen.
• Aw, Natasha Richardson.
• A Commercial for Happy Town. The only reason I’m interested in watching that is for the amazing Amy Acker.
• These dancers are a lot better than the ones on the Vancouver Opening Ceremonies.
• Why isn’t the audience on their feet? That was amazing!
• Avatar gains again. But it is for visual effects, so I’ll give it that. You win this time, Cameron.
• Ooh! Modern Family commercial just for the Oscars! If anyone hasn’t seen this show, you’re really missing out.
  
• Matt Damon was 27 when he won that Oscar? Damn. Now I feel inadequate. About to turn 29, and no Oscar.
• I know I should see Food, Inc., but then I’d never eat again.
• Fisher Stevens? What??
• Woo! The Hurt Locker pulls ahead again in editing.  HL – 4; Avatar – 3.
• I know it’s going to Jeff Bridges, but I’d love to see George Clooney or Jeremy Renner take home best actor.
• Nice idea, but these pre-actor speeches are WAY too long.
• Oh, God. Oprah. We’ll be here forever.
• Michael Sheen! I love him more than anyone.
• I really want Meryl Streep to win. She broke my heart in Julie and Julia.
• I’m still not over Sean Penn beating Mickey Rourke last year.
• Seriously, who the fuck calls themself Sapphire? Ugh.
• KATHRYN BIGALOW – WOO! Suck it, Cameron! (But seriously – so deserved – The Hurt Locker is amazing.)
• There is never a time I’m not happy to see Tom Hanks.
• Holy crap! The Hurt Locker takes it all! Woooo!!
• Man, I’m glad I saw The Hurt Locker last night. Good timing, self.
• Thank you and good night!